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gah!



Let's see who can guess what the words on his tee are..:P
Alamak..how can any of you think that I'm evil enuff to buy a tee with the words
"Mom thinks I'm bad" for my boy :P

Rad :Really good or exciting, cool, hip, awesome.Abbreviated from radical,
a term of approval amongst the young Californian surfers in the late 60s




Last Friday, Aidan came home from school with a slightly swollen/reddish right cheek.

"P punched me!" the boy said, as he rubbed his cheeks miserably.

I asked him what led to it. The boy kept silent and after a long while, he finally muttered "Because P is very naughty!". The boy seemed rather embarrassed so I didn't want to pursue it. I found out later what actually transpired in school. P & Aidan were apparently playing Round & Round the Garden together. Aidan didn't mind it when P tickled him but when it was Aidan's turn, P wasn't happy to be tickled and he showed his displeasure by punching Aidan in the face.

P is Aidan's classmate at Kinderland. I've seen the boy before. He's actually smaller-built than Aidan but my boy is scrawnier. When I queried the teacher about it, she said that P has always been on the rowdy side and tend to be rather aggressive with the other kids. When he first started at the school about 2 years ago, he was much worse, she claimed but he'd since mellowed down quite a bit. Aidan mentioned P quite often when he talks about school and he told me a few times that he doesn't like P because the latter likes to pinch and push him. Max, my colleague/neighbour's kid ( and also Aidan's classmate) told his dad that P no longer bullies him..and that Aidan is his new 'target'.

"And I told Aidan that he should punch P back the next time!" Nenita said.

My first reaction was that Nenita shouldn't have said that. Retaliation isn't the solution, I thought. And that he should be taught to be tolerant and 'turn the other cheek'. But yet, the boy also needs to learn to stand up for himself. I don't want the boy to be a wimp and constantly ends up being bullied. Aidan has always been an easy-going boy and I've witnessed incidents when he'll rather not be involved in a scuffle (when the kids are arguing over a toy). He'll step back and turn his attention to something else.

Will tell the teacher to more observant in school and to watch out when the two are together. I feel that the teacher should be more firm and put a stop to any bullying in school immediately. It does seem that she has 'accepted' the fact that P is an aggressive boy by nature and so, if any incidents like this happened, they will attribute it to his usual behavior and not make a big fuss out of it. I'm not so keen to speak to P's mother. My colleague knows her quite well and I heard that she's received her share of complaints from other parents and had disciplined her son accordingly. I guess she's already trying her best and sometimes, you really can't totally blame the parent for the behavior of the kid (really!). On my part, I will also will let Aidan know that he shouldn't be afraid to express himself and to speak up when he does get picked on.


Thankfully, the boy still enjoys school :)

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( 58 comments — Leave a comment )
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lolitapop
Mar. 28th, 2007 04:50 am (UTC)
Poor Aidan! Thats why I think I can NEVER have kids. If something like that happened to my son, I wont be able to be so calm and rational like you! I think I'd probably punch the kid back or something. :/

Once my brother got bullied in primary school and I really beat this shit out of the asshole until my brother told me to stop. And when his teacher kept punishing him and making him cry in class, I left a poison letter for her signed by all my friends stating that she was a really bad teacher thus making her cry. Terrible but I felt so good after that. Maybe that's why I'm 'blessed' with psycho students now. -_-

I hope the bullying stops soon and if the teacher is not firm enough, complain to the principal! Aidan has to 'grow' up and deal with confrontations but not this way I think!
tiffanyx
Mar. 28th, 2007 05:02 am (UTC)
"...I left a poison letter for her signed by all my friends stating that she was a really bad teacher..." >> haha i like this!!
(no subject) - lolitapop - Mar. 28th, 2007 05:03 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - tiffanyx - Mar. 28th, 2007 05:07 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lolitapop - Mar. 28th, 2007 05:09 am (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - mynthe - Mar. 28th, 2007 05:07 am (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - musomuse - Mar. 28th, 2007 07:06 am (UTC) - Expand
tiffanyx
Mar. 28th, 2007 05:01 am (UTC)
aiyo poor boy!!

yea, fighting back's not the answer. P should go for counselling sessions to be taught that isnt the way to treat other people.
angeliatay
Mar. 28th, 2007 02:13 pm (UTC)
I guess it's really up to the his parents to decide the right course of action for their kid. It's really not our business to suggest although the teachers could ...
(no subject) - tiffanyx - Mar. 29th, 2007 12:29 am (UTC) - Expand
mynthe
Mar. 28th, 2007 05:06 am (UTC)
Awww.. Aidan's too good-natured, that's why he doesn't bother with petty fights with the other kids. But yeah, he is too sweet and gets picked on as a result.. hopefully he will be able to tell P to back off :(

Bullying is more serious than some people think. A lot of parents brush it off as part and parcel of growing up, but it can do more damage to the children than what we can see. Just pay more attention if there's any mood changes in Aidan, and maybe try to open up a conversation about what kind of behaviour he should expect from other kids. It's always good to encourage him to tell you about how he feels towards the bullying behaviour.
angeliatay
Mar. 28th, 2007 02:33 pm (UTC)
Aidan seems to know that P is kind of a problem kid..he always tells me that P always gets punished by teacher and is mean to him at times..but yet he always say he forgives him and still doesn't mind playing with him. Thankfully, Aidan still seems to enjoy school and isn't affected by it much. But yeah, will pay attention to him and make sure he's okay..
(no subject) - mynthe - Mar. 28th, 2007 04:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
buzz_cut
Mar. 28th, 2007 05:11 am (UTC)
Woah, my first reaction as a gorilla is to sock the bugger right back! But that's not gonna solve things and might send the wrong messages to Aidan. Confronting the bully's parents should really be the school's responsibility, so I agree with your approach of getting the teacher more involved and responsible for her wards. Man, turn on the pressure if she still fails to do so!

As for Aidan, I think it's important to make sure that his self esteem is not affected, and to emphasis that he has done no wrong, that bullying is wrong. Getting him to speak up and not be afraid to express himself is good. Tells him that there are people he can turn to if he needs help, his teacher included. Might be a good idea too if he hangs out with a bunch of close friends at school. Strength in numbers.
angeliatay
Mar. 30th, 2007 11:46 am (UTC)
im surprised im that calm abt it too coz i was a rather fiesty kid when i was young and would have socked the bugger too :P maybe it's a blessing that this kid doesnt take after his mom. or mebbe it's payback time :P

thankfully, so far..the boy doesnt seem to be affected. he even says he forgives P and still wants to play with him..and yeah, he does have a bunch of close guypals in school! i think the incident happened after class when most of his friends are not ard anymore
(no subject) - buzz_cut - Mar. 30th, 2007 12:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
syun
Mar. 28th, 2007 05:15 am (UTC)
hmm.. tough call. if it were me, i probably march straight to the principal. but then again, i'm not a mother. scary.
angeliatay
Mar. 30th, 2007 11:47 am (UTC)
i think most moms will march up to the principal :P
moxielass
Mar. 28th, 2007 05:49 am (UTC)
:( Xin teng for Aidan wor. If this happens again, must talk to P's mother. Dun be paiseh!
wwenzz
Mar. 28th, 2007 05:54 am (UTC)
His tee says, "My mom thinks i'm [what?]"?

Poor Aidan.. probably tell him to stay away more from P and tell the teacher the first thing he sense that P is gonna bully him? Toughten up Aidan!
ngader
Mar. 28th, 2007 06:04 am (UTC)
Easy.

" MY MOM THINKS I'M BAD"

:D

where did you get that from?
issyleus
Mar. 28th, 2007 06:38 am (UTC)
Or RAD! :D
(no subject) - ngader - Mar. 28th, 2007 06:46 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - musomuse - Mar. 28th, 2007 07:22 am (UTC) - Expand
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(Deleted comment)
angeliatay
Mar. 28th, 2007 02:50 pm (UTC)
actually, some of the other kids gang up against P when he becomes overly aggressive. There's this big sized girl in aidan's class that actually helps him out i heard..! Thankfully, aidan seems to get along with most of the other kids. I think it's just P that is rather problematic and it does seem that he'd antagonised most of the kids at the kindergarden.
e_rambler
Mar. 28th, 2007 07:20 am (UTC)
I guess it says "Thinks I'm Bad" :P

Well I won't advise Aidan to punch P back, but I guess the only thing you can do now is to tell the teacher to rein in P more. DIY and P's parents will probably hold a grudge against you...

Better to not get one's hands dirty right? :P
tyeetyuen
Mar. 28th, 2007 07:33 am (UTC)
You are super calm. Poor Aidan but he really dont hold grudges cos he still plays with P after he bullies him in the past.

I will be real pissed if my kid is punched. Probably will tanhan the first time but if the other kid picked on my kid more and making him miserable, I will definitely do more drastic things like changing his school (complain to teacher and parent will not reduce the bullying, removing time they are together will). At this point in time, I am still not sure how to treat a bully who is picking on me without really doing drastic thing * I will punch back or treat the person like an enemy*, how do I expect a young child to know what to do?

But come to think of it, if I am the parent of the bully, I think I will die very young *how to tahan if your kid keeps punching other kids after you tried all methods to tell him to stop?*
auntyadele
Mar. 28th, 2007 07:49 am (UTC)
Poor Aidan :(

My Jordan has someone who's constantly in his face too. This boy is SO WEIRD, but his taunts are mostly verbal, like I don't wanna be your friend, over and over again until my bohchup son also get fedup and get upset.

But the weird thing is he seems to understand that this other fella is his friend and just has a damn annoying way of commanding attention. I really really admire my son's maturity about this issue.

Interesting point. I will post my Jordan story too :)
angeliatay
Mar. 29th, 2007 05:32 pm (UTC)
somehow, i feel that verbal abuse is worse than physical bullying..but at least ur son confides in you.

heh, aidan's somewhat similar. he tells me that he forgives P and still wants to play with him 'coz the other kids don't like him.

msbrightside
Mar. 28th, 2007 09:08 am (UTC)
Didn't expect that a feisty fella like Aidan would be so non-confrontational.. but I think it might be a good thing, really? Better than to be a live wire and always react/retaliate.

But if P punches him again, I'm with Nenita on this one - punch the fella back!
jinsiew
Mar. 28th, 2007 09:35 am (UTC)
hehe...actually ming will be like Nenita to tell gabe to punch whoever back too!! very angry!!!!! *hugz* to Aidan!! this reminds me...i have to send the boy to karate or self-defence class before he starts P1...gabe so skinny sure easy target for bully....
jinsiew
Mar. 28th, 2007 09:39 am (UTC)
like to add on about kinderland...when i sent gabe there during the school holiday, gabe also related to me some incidents of him being bullied, i wasn't sure if they were true...anyway, i spoke to the teachers but they gave me the impression like they do not really care and dunno how to handle such incidents...since gabe only goes there during the holiday i let it go and that was why ming told gabe to punch and beat them back :)
(no subject) - angeliatay - Mar. 28th, 2007 02:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Anonymous)
Mar. 28th, 2007 09:45 am (UTC)
"my mom thinks im rad" he's a good boy :))
angeliatay
Mar. 28th, 2007 02:45 pm (UTC)
heh you're right..and yeah, he's a good boy :)
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