February 22nd, 2003



It's been over a month that I've been looking after Aidan (I had the confinement lady during the 1st month)..And just by looking at my journal entries, it's obvious that my life basically revolves round that li' bugger and nothing much else (well, plus hubby too :P)..

Honestly, being a SAHM (Stay AT Home Mum) isn't easy! In fact, it is more stressful than working and I have to admit, at times, I do wish I'm working instead of being cooped up at home with the baby. Yes..looking after Aidan does have it's joyful moments as u can tell by my previous journal entries & the various pics I've taken with him..but it really can be frustrating at times too. You spend close to an hour or two carrying and rocking him and thinking that he has finally fallen asleep, you try to put him into the cot and creep away silently and just when u flop onto the bed to get some rest, u hear him wailing away for u..and there u go..the whole routine of trying to put him back to sleep. And there are times too when he will just cry non-stop and no amount of carrying/patting will quieten him. Fortunately, such moments usually last abt an hour or so but it can really make u wanna tear ur hair out! I always feel so useless then..not knowing what's bothering him..he's been fed, his diaper isn't soiled..then what's wrong??!! I have to admit that there are times when I just let him continue crying in the cot hoping that it will tire him out..and well, it does work a little as he tends to quieten more when I finally pick him up again and will fall asleep soon after a while of cradling..but I'll end up feeling really guilty after that...

Hubby says I'm fortunate that he doesn't expect me to do chores like cleaning the house and ironing hubby's shirts (man..I hate ironing!!)and cooking dinner..We have a part-time maid who comes over during Saturdays to do all that and hubby buys dinner back every evening..Therefore, my main chores during the day is laundry and tidying the place..

Having the kid does put a stress in our r/ship too..I do expect my hubby to help around with the baby especially after he's back from work or during the weekends..and he does helps out. But there are times when he'll say that he's totally stressed out from work and I have no choice but to look after Aidan throughout the night too (even though I'm totally exhausted) ..Deep down, I do feel a little frustrated but I do understand that his work isn't exactly a breeze and I shouldn't expect him to always be 'ready to help with Aidan..Also, I tend to get upset really easily...for example, when he calls me up in the afternoon (to find out how I am) and the ringing of the phone wakes up the baby (after I've just rocked him to sleep) and I'll show my irritation over the phone..which I shouldn't..Thankfully, his parents often come over and help out..many a times, they will 'chase' us out of the house so that we can relax and go dating..It really helps a lot and I really appreciate it :)

Hmm..I seem to be ranting a fair bit..I guess I just need to let out a li' of my frustration and hubby waking up this morning especially to play Mech Warrior with his online pals (for every consecutive weekends *sigh*) doesn't helped much.

Anyway..since the in-laws are here (mom-in-law loves to be around her grandson), I'm planning to spend the day in the afternoon alone, probably doing my hair - getting it colored (I've spotted a couple of white hair (!)) and getting some needed retail therapy.. I've been feeling like a frumpy housewife and I guess some pampering would definitely make me feel better...
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