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goodbye dad..




My Dad - Mr Tay Miang Seng : 1936-2005
My dad was a simple person with very simple needs. He was not one prone to excesses, not least in the material sense. However, he was extremely fervent in preaching the gospel to all those around him. Sometimes his over-enthusiasm for interpreting and preaching the Word of God may seem abrasive to others, but his intentions were always sincere, to learn more about the Bible and to bring the Good News to all those around him.

He is not exactly easy to get along with because of his strong opinions and quick temper. Like the rest of us, he has a stubborn streak in him. However, his love for his children and his wife was evident to all of us,having done his utmost to provide for us, even though we are already working adults and are well capable of fending for ourselves. Moreover, he has always treated us fairly. Dad always felt that he has not been a good father to us in the past. However, all of us know without a doubt that he has always loved us in his own way.

In his lifetime, the greatest gift to have been accorded to him was to have come to know Jesus and once he accepted the Lord, he never looked back. The change in his lifestyle was astounding. He quit smoking entirely and the stock exchange gambling disappeared. He led a frugal life himself, choosing to channel his financial resources to help his children and wife instead. He would study the Word of God late into the night, make countless notes and references, and discuss with others and especially us sons and daughters about his findings excitedly whenever he has the opportunity. It is not unusual for him to purchase a few copies of a certain Christian literature to pass to others. He had related that my becoming a Christian (having being led to the Lord by my wife) was the most joyous occasion in his life.

I will always remember Dad for his love for us and his total dedication to
God.


This was my brother, Junior's Eulogy to my dad, which he read out during the prayer services on the final wake night

Junior has described here exactly the man that my dad was (it isn't easy describing him in past tense..). Yes, Dad has loved us all, in his own ways. And I hope he knows that we loved him too. He'd always felt that he has not been a good dad in the past and been trying to make it up to us. But I've never felt anything negative towards him and have told him so. My memories of him has always been fond ones, many which I could still remember vividly. Sis used to ask me why I've always been that positive. I don't know but I guess it really doesnt make sense dwelling on unhappy times.

Even though my dad and mom had divorced, he's always regarded her as his wife and we all knew that she has always been the love of his life. Even after they'd separated, Dad often used to tell me how he and mom met and some details about their courtship..I would tease him about how he was captivated by mom's beauty and he'd unabashly admitted to it. I could tell how much she'd still meant to him. We know too that mom's heart has always been reserved for dad and that the breakup was something that she did out of anger and in some ways, necessity. We all knew she'd intentionally bought a flat opposite dad's place because she still wanted to be near him and not because the unit was a good deal (so she claims). Dad was pleased too because it meant that he could look out for her. Mom said that Dad would always call her to nag/remind her to switch off the lights when she leaves the house...and I think mom deliberately leaves it on so that dad will do so.. In fact, it was because Dad did not call her that day that she knew something was wrong on the day the heart attack occured. We'd thus decided to acknowledge mom as his wife in the orbituary ad because they were in our eyes and in his I'm sure, a true married couple..

Mom told me yesterday that just last week, Dad had been telling her what a great child Aidan was. He'd told her that he was such a good-looking and intelligent boy..He said it with so much pride and love, she revealed. I don't think Aidan understands what is going on even though I've explained to him what had happened. I will tell him when he's older more about Dad and show him all the pictures of them together and let him know how much his grandfather - my dad has loved him.

Junior who is a stanch Christian too, assures us all that Dad is now in a better place and that he has always been looking forward to the day that he'll be called to the Lord. I know that he's right because Dad has mentioned this to me before too. He was at peace with himself and during the past years, our relationships with him has strengthened. Sometime early this year, he'd called me late in the night to talk and midway tru our conversation, he started crying and telling me that he loves us all alot. Dad is not an expressive person and it must have taken quite an effort for him to say this. And likewise, my relationship with him has always been rather formal..but because he was able to tell me so himself, I was thus able to tell him how much I loved him too. If this conversation hadn't taken place, I would have regretted not having said these words to him.. and I'll always carry the conversation we had that day in my heart..


My previous blog entries about dad
http://www.livejournal.com/users/angeliatay/54021.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/angeliatay/59565.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/angeliatay/67577.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/angeliatay/202488.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/angeliatay/202584.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/angeliatay/232020.html




Just a word of appreciation to everyone for your kind words & condolences..and also to those who'd came by for the wake.


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Comments

( 51 comments — Leave a comment )
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tinymich
Sep. 7th, 2005 09:40 pm (UTC)
Hey Ange, I missed your first blog entry about your dad's passing. I'm sorry, but glad that you and your family have fond memories of him to treasure. *hug*
booron
Sep. 7th, 2005 09:53 pm (UTC)
My condolences,please take care..
meganjing
Sep. 7th, 2005 10:02 pm (UTC)
**Hugs** hope everything is ok. Do take care
claudiacheng
Sep. 7th, 2005 10:02 pm (UTC)
My condolences again.

This post made me cry and think about my dad too.
parentingjoy
Sep. 7th, 2005 10:09 pm (UTC)
Angie, I am deeply touched by the Eulogy as well as what you wrote about your dad. I am sorry for your loss and pray that you and your family will have strength and peace to go through this. Take care. {{Hug}}
smallbully
Sep. 7th, 2005 10:30 pm (UTC)
*hugs* angie.. pls take care.
delonchew
Sep. 7th, 2005 10:35 pm (UTC)
My deepest condolences, Angelia. Take care.
faithpig
Sep. 7th, 2005 10:45 pm (UTC)
Hi...
Sorry to barge in at such an inappropriate moment.

I just read your posting and I was trying not to lose control in the office. It is very well written, especially the relationship between your mom and dad.

My condolences,please take care.
alisonrae
Sep. 7th, 2005 11:04 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you finally managed to dig up the old entries about him. :)
angeliatay
Sep. 7th, 2005 11:11 pm (UTC)
i couldn't sleep and i scoured through all my entries to find those with/of him. But I really though I've written about Dad's conversion to Christianity..as that was what I really wanted to share..Me blur lah. Probably wrote the entry in my head and never actually typed it down..
olimomok
Sep. 7th, 2005 11:07 pm (UTC)
That's a lovely post, Angelia. It's heartening to know that your dad had such wonderful relationships with everyone around him.

When I lost my good friend B, I found it very hard to speak of him in past tense too :\

Take care. *HUGS*
(Deleted comment)
rexkids
Sep. 7th, 2005 11:42 pm (UTC)
He's in a better place. Take care.
nachon
Sep. 7th, 2005 11:54 pm (UTC)
Take care of yourself...it's such a hard time.
ikepod
Sep. 8th, 2005 12:12 am (UTC)
hi babes,
didnt know abt your mom and dad but it brought tears to my eyes.
Take care hor....
missustay
Sep. 8th, 2005 12:14 am (UTC)
*hugs* take care, angelia.
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