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Rant

It's been over a month that I've been looking after Aidan (I had the confinement lady during the 1st month)..And just by looking at my journal entries, it's obvious that my life basically revolves round that li' bugger and nothing much else (well, plus hubby too :P)..

Honestly, being a SAHM (Stay AT Home Mum) isn't easy! In fact, it is more stressful than working and I have to admit, at times, I do wish I'm working instead of being cooped up at home with the baby. Yes..looking after Aidan does have it's joyful moments as u can tell by my previous journal entries & the various pics I've taken with him..but it really can be frustrating at times too. You spend close to an hour or two carrying and rocking him and thinking that he has finally fallen asleep, you try to put him into the cot and creep away silently and just when u flop onto the bed to get some rest, u hear him wailing away for u..and there u go..the whole routine of trying to put him back to sleep. And there are times too when he will just cry non-stop and no amount of carrying/patting will quieten him. Fortunately, such moments usually last abt an hour or so but it can really make u wanna tear ur hair out! I always feel so useless then..not knowing what's bothering him..he's been fed, his diaper isn't soiled..then what's wrong??!! I have to admit that there are times when I just let him continue crying in the cot hoping that it will tire him out..and well, it does work a little as he tends to quieten more when I finally pick him up again and will fall asleep soon after a while of cradling..but I'll end up feeling really guilty after that...

Hubby says I'm fortunate that he doesn't expect me to do chores like cleaning the house and ironing hubby's shirts (man..I hate ironing!!)and cooking dinner..We have a part-time maid who comes over during Saturdays to do all that and hubby buys dinner back every evening..Therefore, my main chores during the day is laundry and tidying the place..

Having the kid does put a stress in our r/ship too..I do expect my hubby to help around with the baby especially after he's back from work or during the weekends..and he does helps out. But there are times when he'll say that he's totally stressed out from work and I have no choice but to look after Aidan throughout the night too (even though I'm totally exhausted) ..Deep down, I do feel a little frustrated but I do understand that his work isn't exactly a breeze and I shouldn't expect him to always be 'ready to help with Aidan..Also, I tend to get upset really easily...for example, when he calls me up in the afternoon (to find out how I am) and the ringing of the phone wakes up the baby (after I've just rocked him to sleep) and I'll show my irritation over the phone..which I shouldn't..Thankfully, his parents often come over and help out..many a times, they will 'chase' us out of the house so that we can relax and go dating..It really helps a lot and I really appreciate it :)

Hmm..I seem to be ranting a fair bit..I guess I just need to let out a li' of my frustration and hubby waking up this morning especially to play Mech Warrior with his online pals (for every consecutive weekends *sigh*) doesn't helped much.

Anyway..since the in-laws are here (mom-in-law loves to be around her grandson), I'm planning to spend the day in the afternoon alone, probably doing my hair - getting it colored (I've spotted a couple of white hair (!)) and getting some needed retail therapy.. I've been feeling like a frumpy housewife and I guess some pampering would definitely make me feel better...


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Comments

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
mcflurry
Feb. 22nd, 2003 12:27 am (UTC)
hi, i am moxie's lj friend and have been reading your lj on and off.

i like all your baby pics, especially those with your husband and the baby sleeping together peacefully on the bed or on the ground...seems you are the one who hold the camera to shoot most of the time in the house?

but, why can never see some "natural" photo from you and the baby la(i mean those you and the baby not looking at the camera ones, like your baby and your hubby do)? Hmm...i don't mean the photos must be publicized to non-lj-friends surfers like us...but i think photos taken when the people are not conscious (i mean the "subjects" are not awaring) are more natural (and would be fun when looking back later), and i just have been seeing papa's cute pictures with the baby, but rarely see mama's cute (<- the natural ones i mean) pictures la...so i kind of worry that cute baby's mama has forgot about herself la :p

just suddenly have this thought.
richardkang
Feb. 22nd, 2003 01:45 am (UTC)
Maybe because someone has to be around to take photos of the mum and baby in a natural pose? That's if the mum even allows photos of herself to be taken au naturale first. =P
angeliatay
Feb. 22nd, 2003 06:15 am (UTC)
Re:
Yeah..Richard is right. The problem is I'm always the one with the digicam and I like to take pics of hubby & baby when they are unaware..unlike hubby...who only has the camera when I ask him to take one of me & baby..which is usually posed..can't possibly ask hubby to take 'natural' pics of us eh? That wouldn't be spontaneous anymore, right :)
mcflurry
Feb. 22nd, 2003 06:43 am (UTC)
may be you can give me some hint and bring him the message that you also want to have some that kind of photos...

:p

i just say say...
angeliatay
Feb. 22nd, 2003 04:41 pm (UTC)
Heh.. it's ok lah..Photos are for me to track his growth and a reminder of how cute he is (was) :)
kasey1028
Feb. 22nd, 2003 05:36 am (UTC)
yes, do understand the situation: baby is very attention seekin!!dun mean to scare u: there are more scary times ahead: when he grow 1st teeth, if he shld fall sick after one of the injection, when some day he just refuse to drink milk, etc.

for me, the baby sleep in a cot in our bedroom. due to wife being a teacher, and need to wake up super early, she take 1st shift: from 9pm to midnite; should baby wake up, to attend. me: from midnite to goin off to work (grandma, ie my Mum will look after from there)...do know can get tiring, but as the recent forums mentioned, havin a baby is a sacrifice worth wakin up for (i thk i switch some of the words ard!! heheheh)

angeliatay
Feb. 22nd, 2003 06:33 am (UTC)
Yeah..I know this is the beginning only..

We do have shifts but at times, hubby will beg off becuz he is really tired (only during weekdays - he always helps out during weekends) and I end up looking after him the whole day & night..which can be really exhausting. But it's pretty seldom so it's okay..

And I have to add..it's not entirely 'joyless'..I love Aidan and having him is one of the best thing that can happen to us..I don't see it as a sacrifice but as something that I should do as a mom :)
takira
Feb. 22nd, 2003 06:03 am (UTC)
RETAIL THERAPY WORKS WONDERS!!
angeliatay
Feb. 22nd, 2003 06:24 am (UTC)
Yeah..tell that to my wallet *sobsob*..
troubadour42
Feb. 22nd, 2003 09:04 pm (UTC)
What you wrote could be the same problems my wife will face a few months down the road. She'll be a SAHM as well, and I'm already irritating her with my frequent phone calls during the day!

You know, it's refreshing to read a long post about your feelings. Not that I don't enjoy reading about your day with Aidan, but I think it's good to vent once in a while. Puts things into perspective and helps to release any pent-up frustrations. Plus us reader get to know a bit more about, and hopefully learn from, you.
angeliatay
Feb. 23rd, 2003 01:43 am (UTC)
Re:
Ur wife will need a lot of support from u when the baby arrives and I'm sure u will be there for her :)..U guys gettin a confinement nanny or are ur parents gonna help out instead? During the 1st month or so, it's better to have help especially if this is ur first borne. I was so blur initially and was so thankful for my confinement nanny..Anyway, it's gonna be one of the the best thing tt can happen to u and it's gonna be one of ur most tiring period too :P..

Hmm..well, really nothin much to learn from me..You will realise that in the end, it's gonna be on-the-job training :)



(Anonymous)
Feb. 23rd, 2003 06:33 pm (UTC)
Hey Angelia
I understand how you feel. Like you said, at times I really hope hubby can 'automatic' offer his help. Unfortunately, he is so... into his clie and laptop.
I'm not a SAHM but I wish I could. In fact, my heart is not at work most of the time. I really admire all the SAHMs.
Wendy
www.rock.per.sg
angeliatay
Feb. 23rd, 2003 07:28 pm (UTC)
Re:
Yeah~ sometimes, I get the feeling that hubby think he's doing me a favour when he helps out.

Tough eh..boys will always be boys. It's hard to get my hubby away from his computer games too :P...

I know what u mean abt ur heart not being there..Even though i get so frustrated at times, I acknowledge that overall, I'd rather be with baby during his these few months than be at work and thinking of him all the time. I know a few mummies who'd quit their job just a few mths after they return from maternity leave becuz they miss their babies too much. :)

Hey..ur hubby is in insurance right? It means that his time is more 'flexible' so end up, he probably have more time with the baby :P
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )

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